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Monday, 15 November 2010

Father Christmas Comes Early!

It’s still November, however, there was an early visitor to the New London Village on Sunday! I stood chatting to Kat, Laredo, Wellzy, John, Kelli, Calisto, Atragon, Sinji and Jahni when suddenly FatherChristmas Frostbite appeared! He stood there, rosy cheeks and curly white beard contrasting sharply with his bright red clothes. We rubbed our eyes in astonishment!! “We’ve all been good this year, I hope you are taking note FatherChristmas!” I said. Sinji thought he was a ‘tad early’ FatherChristmas turned to Sinji and said “Ah Sinji, I got your letter. Sorry but I’m all out of Run DMC discs!” Wellzy told him “and if we weren’t good we were super careful”

Laredo was luckier, FatherChristmas told him “and Laredo, those woollen pants you requested are all ready and packed.” I looked at Laredo and said I thought the pants would be a bit itchy! Laredo answered “Don't knock wool. Get it static charged and it’s wonderfully stimulating I'm told from past experience.” Ok Laredo, I believe you!! (still itchy though!). Next FatherChristmas turned his attentions to me “Ah Janey, I got your lovely note too. I’m sorry but I can’t deliver Ak-47's to non military personnel though.” Damn my plan has failed then! I thought to myself. Looking at Wellzy, FatherChristmas said “Aha, Wellzy Horngold. Got your note. Less said about that the better you little minx!” Wellzy didn’t seem at all put out, answering “Thank yyouuuuuu” “Jahni, Bay City Rollers box-set packed and ready” FatherChristmas smiled at Jahni! Jahni blinked, saying “if you say so” (not sure Father Christmas got this one right!). FatherChristmas looked a little hurt as he turned to Kelli “Kelli Voom, lovely letter from you. Although what does "sod off Santa, you’re way too early" mean? Its code right?” Kelli suggested he should take his time and read between the lines “you've got at least a month to kick back and solve it” she told him.

Turning to John, Father Christmas looked sad and said “John Silverweb. Tut tut. Jon Pertwee naked adventure calender is no longer in print.” John laughed out loud, Laredo said “Aaaah”, Sinji said “damn” and Kelli said she was “crossing it off her list!” Next it was Atragon’s turn, FatherChristmas, with a twinkle in his eye, told him “Now that was a saucy little poem you wrote me, but no you can’t see my chipolata!” “Oh my” exclaimed Wellzy. Looking at Kat, Father Christmas said “Kat Kassner. John Simm packed and loaded onto the Sleigh.” “Lucky sod Kat” said Wellzy!

Ho Ho Ho, our good-humoured Santa told us “Oh my time is up for now, I feel the spirit of Christmas dragging me away. Tata” The Tata bit bothered me I must say, I can’t recall the real Father Christmas ever saying “Tata”, but who knows he may have picked up a bit of slang on his travels!! Hope you come back at Christmas Santa, we will try to be good!!

Janey Bracken

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